Epiphora's Picks

The proud owner of over 900 sex toys, Epiphora has ogled, squeezed, and twiddled with so many that her brain has turned into a sex toy encyclopedia. On her popular blog, Hey Epiphora, she peddles relentlessly honest sex toy reviews -— with a smattering of sex industry critique thrown in for good measure.

Years of sex toy collecting and testing have led Epiphora to cultivate a taste for well-constructed, easy to use, body-safe toys — and a seething rage against finicky battery compartments. Here are the toys that were somehow able to meet her obscenely high standard.