The Peak of Pleasure

Prostate play is always a popular topic with our customers! Especially since regular stimulation of it can provide a two-for one: It can offer tons of pleasure and it can be good for prostate health! (“Prostate milking” and prostate massage are techniques that can be used for either or sometimes both of these goals.) Even so, many people still haven’t made the acquaintance of their own (or a partner’s) prostate. So, allow us to introduce you!

What is the prostate?

The prostate gland is sometimes referred to as the “male” g-spot (though no need to gender it, since folks of all genders can have prostates) because of its association with providing intense orgasms, and that’s much more than a coincidence. The prostata femina, a.k.a the g-spot, develops from the same tissue as the prostate in those assigned female at birth (AFAB). As far as pleasure is concerned, they often respond to the same kinds of sensation and stimulation, so they function basically the same way!

Where to find the prostate

The prostate gland is located just under the bladder and is wrapped around the urethra—it’s not located in the anus, but through the body wall from there, which makes it easiest to stimulate from inside the orifice. During anal insertion in those assigned male at birth (AMAB), It's felt just on the other side of the rectal wall.

How to access the prostate

When it comes to anal play, when the body and mind are at ease, the muscles around the anus begin to relax. And since the anus doesn’t self-lubricate, you’re gonna need to keep some lube handy to keep things safe and comfortable.

 Start by making sure the person with the anus is interested in exploring it! Arousal will naturally aid in relaxation and pleasurable anticipation. Keep in mind however that some people will just not be interested, and that’s perfectly okay too, just play elsewhere!

Got the go-ahead? Great! Gently massage the anus with the flat pad of your well-lubricated finger. As the sphincter muscles relax you can actually see the anus move outward, it almost looks like it’s blowing a little kiss! Let the massage evolve into a gentle glide inward – gentle and slow, tip in, don’t poke. If anal insertion meets with approval, lube up even more and gently slide your finger about two inches in (it could be further for some bodies). Curve it toward the belly – there lies the prostate. This is why many prostate toys often are shorter and curved vs long and straight (see below). 

And here’s an important Pro(state) Tip: In addition to making sure your hands are well groomed and/or manicured, gloves can help smooth out any sharpness of your nails and cuticles so you’re less likely to scratch anyone accidentally. It’s important for safety! Plus this strategy makes for less mess when you’re lubing up or cleaning up–so glove up! 

Arousal and erections

Arousal can also play a huge role in locating it, since the p-spot feels different from the surrounding area and the more turned on the person is, the more pronounced it becomes, both sensation-wise, as well as easier to locate. (Arousal is really a must for any penetration!) Many people enjoy stroking sensations here like the classic curved, rhythmic “come hither” motion. You might also like pressure, vibration, or even tapping.

It’s not uncommon for penises to lose their firmness while the anus is being stimulated, but that has less to do with levels of arousal and more to do with the blood flow moving towards the center of pleasure and stimulation. Having the prostate stroked is often so pleasurable that it can cause clear prostatic fluid to drip from the urethra. (This can include some sperm, so keep condoms available if anyone in the scene can become pregnant.) In fact, orgasm may still result from direct stimulation of the p-spot, which may lead to ejaculation regardless of erection. Want to keep the energy going in the front and back? Try adding some oral play or a hand job while pleasuring that prostate–now that’s a party for sure! (And speaking of oral, rimming is a great way to help relax the anus and increase arousal before going in search of that prostate.)

So check out why the prostate is a preferred pleasure spot for many, regardless of orientation or gender identity! 

Prostate stimulation techniques

Pleasure is unique, so checking in with a partner (or with your own body) as you explore is the best way to find the perfect techniques for stimulating your prostate. Go slow, take your time, and let sensations lead you where you want to go!

Hand and finger techniques

A person may not find it easy to reach their own prostate for fingering, milking, or massage purposes–but some are flexible enough to do so. (Many solo p-spot seekers use a toy; we’ll look at that option below.) It is usually easy to reach a partner’s prostate (or, in the context of a health treatment, a client’s or patient’s prostate), as long as the person is comfortable with anal touch and penetration. Remember that “relaxation, lubrication and communication” are the keys to comfortable, pleasurable prostate access. 

We discussed entering the anus safely and comfortably, and locating the p-spot, above. If you have located your own or another person’s prostate, what do you do next? Here are a few prostate stimulation techniques to try. Remember, not all people like the same things, so ask for feedback! 
Feel around and discover the margins of the prostate; find the center, where there’s a bit of an up-and-down groove that separates the right and left sides, and basically get to know the prostate you’re touching! All this is likely to feel nice to the person whose prostate is being touched.
Move your finger back and forth from side to side, like a windshield wiper. See how much pressure the person prefers.
Add a little pressure. Try rhythmic pressing, or even tapping. 

In trying any or all of these techniques, make sure there’s enough lube for comfort! The rectal walls are delicate and don’t want a lot of friction. Also be aware that these moves can be tried if you’ve entered with one finger, or more.

Positions for prostate play

Partner play involving the prostate can be comfortable when the penetrated person is on their hands and knees; on their knees with their chest on the bed; bent over a positioning pillow or even a stable piece of furniture that supports them (like an ottoman). It can also be easy to do with the person lying down (face up or down) with their legs spread; their partner can sit next to them (try their left side, if you are right-handed, or vice versa). If they are on their back, they can raise their legs up to their chest for easier access. 

For a beginner to p-spot stimulation, in particular, the more comfortable position the better! This may help them relax their pelvic floor muscles more easily, and that means more comfortable and pleasurable anal access. 

Positions for solo anal penetration for prostate play depend on how flexible the person is. Try lying on your side and reaching down between your butt cheeks, or lie on your back, raise your butt off the bed with a positioning pillow, and try going between your legs. If it’s hard to get comfortable enough to get a finger inside deep enough to contact the p-spot, try a toy!  

Toys for prostate play

There are many kinds of toys that can help you achieve anal and prostate pleasure. Make sure you read the information on safety below to help you choose the right kind! 

Prostate massagers

Basically an anal-safe type of dildo–often with a particular shape or design to maximize prostate stimulation–a prostate massager lets you try prostate milking with long or side-to-side strokes, or you can pleasure the prostate by nudging it with the tip of the massager. Try different strokes to see what you like the most! Prostate massagers can be shorter than many dildos and often have a curve at the end to help you locate the prostate gland. Some, like Aneros toys, are designed to stay inside (butt plugs do this too, and some may make good prostate playthings. Others may not be long enough or too straight to easily contact the prostate).   

Anal vibrators

Many people love feeling a buzz on the prostate (and other places!) and perhaps you’ll be one of them. In choosing and using an anal vibrator, you might find you appreciate deep, thuddier vibrations than light buzzy ones. 

Pegging toys

Pegging isn’t everyone’s choice for prostate play (partly because you must find a partner who wants to try it), but it can be a fantastic P-spot stimulation sport! In pegging, the partner dons a harness with a prostate-compatible dildo (this usually means it will have a bit of a curve at the end). Entering the anus with this toy, explore positions and angles that maximize prostate pleasure. Remember to communicate! In this kind of play you are finding the p-spot with a toy, not fingers, so the person being penetrated can be their partner’s guide.

Anal lubricants

Any lube that is compatible with your body, and the type of toy you want to use, is better than no lube. For prostate and other anal play, lube is a must! If you are using your hands and wearing latex gloves, oil-based lube isn’t a good choice, but silicone certainly might be. A silicone toy can be used with oil or with water-based lube, and many people appreciate the thicker gel styles. Using clean hands with trimmed and filed nails, you can choose any lubricant style you wish–but remember to wash up well when you’re done and mind what other body parts you touch–anal play of any kind can put you in contact with e.Coli. 

Risks and health

Prostate play is an incredible thing, but make sure that you’re playing in a way that’s safe and aware of your own body.

Prostate inflammation

Prostate massage is thought of as a healthful way to regularly move semen through the prostate–but if the prostate is inflamed or you’ve been diagnosed with other medical issues, don’t turn to prostate play to improve your health; see a doctor. (You can move semen along without touching the prostate, remember–it’s called ejaculating!) 

Using anal-safe toys

Toys used to enter the anus must be smooth and unbreakable, with no rough or scratchy areas. And they must have a base so they can’t slip inside! Especially with the needed addition of lubricant, anal toys get slippery and it isn’t always possible to prevent them from sliding all the way in, so pick a toy with a base that prevents this from ever becoming a problem. (If you do lose a toy inside, get medical help! The health care experts at the ER have seen it all before - but it's easy not to get to that point, just choose a safe toy in the first place!)