Explore Pegging Pleasures
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What is pegging?
When Dr. Carol Queen made the 1998 instant classic sex ed porn, Bend Over Boyfriend, she had no idea that 3 years later advice columnist Dan Savage would hold a contest for his readers to name this amazing act. Thus, Pegging enters our lexicon! Pegging refers to anal penetration with a dildo and harness. Usually the term is used to describe a man being penetrated anally by a woman, but pegging can be enjoyed by partners of any gender or sexuality.
When it is done in that context, though, pegging can flip the script on commonly-hold attitudes about who does what during sex. The person who may usually be the “giver” in penetrative sex becomes the “receiver”! And that’s just one reason people may like it. Pegging is hot for many reasons, whether it’s flipping the script in the context of power play and domination, or simply for a fun way to enjoy anal play and explore additional options for pleasure with your partner!
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Here are a few helpful tips for knocking on the back door, whether you’re looking for pegging pleasures or other anal exploration:
🍑 Talk About It! Consent is key!
● As dearly as many people love anal, not everyone is into it. And that’s cool! Never assume it’s OK to just start doing the anal things. Have a conversation with your partner first about wanting to try pegging. Then when you don a strap-on, you’ll know that everyone is into anal adventure. No pressure!
🍑 Gather Your Gear
● Harness: When choosing a harness, find one that fits you well and stays put on your body. A tighter harness gives you a solid and steady fit–a loose harness leaves you with less control because it won’t hold the dildo as firmly against your body. You want to feel as connected as possible to your strap-on!
● Dildo: The dildo needs a flared base (a base that’s wider than the shaft) to be both anal-safe and harness compatible. Curved dildos are great if you’re looking to target the prostate, and if the butt in question isn’t a beginner, you might like a dildo with a bit of texture for some extra sensation. Or choose one with a vibrator built in! The person being penetrated will likely want a say when it comes to size and determining what length and girth they are comfortable with.
● Lube: Lube is an essential ingredient for anal play, especially when using toys! Less friction means painful sex or injury is less likely, and lubricant makes for a much more comfortable and pleasurable experience. If your dildo is made of silicone, choose a water-based or oil-based lube.
🍑 Take Your Time
● No matter what kind/s of penetration are part of your sex life, the body needs to warm up and become aroused to avoid painful sex. This is extra-true for anal! Especially if the person on the receiving end has never experienced anal penetration before, you’ll want to start super-slow and gentle. Ease your way up to using a dildo—start with gloved fingers or a smaller toy first. Only add more (more depth, size, or speed) when the bottom (the one who’s receiving) is completely comfortable and ready for it.
🍑 Communicate!
● Beyond talking about it first, both partners should check in frequently during pegging play. Communication is even more important than ever when you’re trying something new together. The bottom can let the top know what feels great and what doesn’t, from positions to depth to pace. Use dirty talk if it seems too clinical! Asking questions like “Do you like that?” and “Do you want more?” centers communication throughout your play.
🍑 Assume the Position
● Certain positions can facilitate comfort, relaxation and penetration, or target pleasure spots like the prostate.
○ Doggy Style is great for access. This position opens up the hips and make it easy to spread the receiver’s cheeks, plus it can also allow either person to take the lead on rhythm or depth. The receiver can do that by rocking their body back against the dildo, using their arms and knees for balance–or the giver can take the lead by thrusting into the receiver.
○ Downward Doggy (that’s the variant on doggy style in which the receiver bends their over so their elbows and forearms are against the bed): With the benefits of doggy style plus a great angle to stimulate the prostate or G-spot—aim the dildo at the front wall of the anus, where these hot spots can be reached.
○ Spooning is slow and sweet, great for more shallow penetration. Most of the nerve endings in the anal canal can be accessed this way without needing to go way deeper, so this cuddly position can generate a lot of comfort and pleasure.
● Don’t stop there! Exploring new positions and discovering what works best for you and your partner is part of the fun!
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So go out and harness the opportunity to add some anal play into your bedroom routine!