Anal Orgasms: Your Guide to Unlocking The Backdoor O

It's Anal August! Anal stimulation is a super-common fantasy, both for people who have enjoyed it before and for those whose relationship with it is all in their mind—or in conversations with their partner/s who fantasize about it too.

Whether you are a solo player, have done butt stuff IRL with a partner, or are planning your first foray, we're here to help keep it safe, pleasurable, and orgasmic! 

What is an anal orgasm?

From one POV, all orgasms are the same, since they occur in the brain. The body parts we stimulate to get there are up to us, but the building sense of pleasure and the intense climax are the result of our nerves and body chemistry making orgasm magic far away from where the finger, penis or toy was.

That means that the first rules of anal orgasm are the same as all others: Arousal and communication are key elements.
 Naturally, there are specific things to know about body parts that we're stimulating, and this is probably more important with anal play than any other kind of sex. Some elements of anal anatomy and response can make it more likely to respond with pleasure and in some cases orgasm, aka anal climax. (And some do the opposite!)

When you stimulate these according to the receiver's preference, erotic sensations can grow to the point of climax, which so many people seek from their sex play. 

Starting Off Your Anal Pleasure

The anus is super-rich with nerve endings, and these can enhance arousal whether or not penetration is involved. In fact it's good to start on the outside to support relaxation (essential for safe, comfortable anal insertion with anal toys or a body part). Anal relaxation techniques include making sure you are comfortable and into this type of play; knowing your partner listens and responds to your communication and limits; a warm bath; deep breathing; and erotic arousal (this can be from making out, solo play, having a prior orgasm some other way, or whatever works for you).

You can stimulate the external anus by stroking or licking, and with toys, but try adding some lube too—it is essential for penetration, but can make even external anal touch feel fantastic. It's one of the important anal safety tips too! (Another one: Make sure your nails are smooth, or better yet, glove up.)

When/if penetration is desired, take it super-slow. The receiver must be in charge of the timing—it's possible for anal penetration to really hurt, and lube, relaxation, and communication are the ways to prevent that. Once you get comfortable, you may experiment with elements of your "bigger/faster/more" fantasies, but if you don't respect the way the anus and rectum work, you may never get that far.

Can everyone have an anal orgasm?

Being orgasmic in ANY way supports the possibility of orgasms from other kinds of stimulation, which means that exploring your own and partners' arousal in all kinds of ways will ready you for anal stimulation techniques that can result in orgasm, like prostate stimulation.

For one thing, it helps you or your partner recognize the signs of rising turn-on and impending orgasm—so you can communicate better and focus on the things that maximize anal pleasure and anal orgasm. (Or any other kind!)

When it comes to anal orgasms, these are the top questions we hear:

• Can women have anal orgasms?

• Can men have anal orgasms?

• Can people without a prostate have anal orgasms?

• Can you orgasm entirely from anal stimulation? 

The answer to ALL these questions is the same: in some cases! Regardless of gender identity, genital configuration, and the body parts you have that are sexual for you, if you are able to have orgasms to begin with and if you enjoy anal stimulation techniques, it is possible that you could have an anal orgasm.

One element that supports this possibility is desire. If you don't want anal experiences in the first place, that is not a very orgasmic experience to start from, and that calls for more communication and consent. (And let us spell this out: If you don’t want it, enthusiastic consent may be all the way off the table–and that could mean you don’t in fact consent. Don’t have anal sex unless you want it or have a real good reason to do it!) Anal safety tips are the next step, then you can begin maximizing your experience of anal pleasure.

Does an Anal Orgasm Feel Different From a "Regular" Orgasm?

An anal orgasm feels like an orgasm! It happens in the brain, not the anus, though the stimulation that sparks it is centered there. That said, anal stimulation feels different from other kinds of erotic stimulation. In particular, those who experience prostate orgasm state that it feels pretty different from, say, a penis-focused one. So the orgasmic pleasure might be very comparable to other sources of climax—but the feeling of the stimulation leading up to it might be more unique.

So, What Does An Anal Orgasm Feel Like?

The nerve concentration at the opening of the anus and along the anal canal can be especially pleasure-filled and intense (or painful, if our tips on anal play for beginners are ignored). Inside the rectum the prostate (for those who have one) can be stimulated through penetration.

P-spot orgasm can feel intense in a comparable way to G-spot sensations. But most of all there will be a growing sense of pleasure and intensity as anal masturbation or anal sex progresses, which culminates in a spike of pleasure, often with pelvic contractions (which may lead to ejaculation, or just feel pleasurable). For some, the anus then gets super-sensitive and it won't want more stimulation. 

Whether solo, as a receiver, or with a partner who is receiving anal foreplay (we can define that as the initial anal play that feels great and makes you want more) or more advanced anal stimulation, the secret is to stay with the kinds of play at the speed and intensity that you/they want. This isn't optional! Because anal play only feels good when it does. So let the person receiving communicate what they want, and that will do more than anything to maximize the chances of anal orgasm.

How do Anal Orgasms Work? 

Let’s dive even deeper into the sensations, nerve endings, anatomy, and arousal factors that come together to create the wonder that is the anal climax:

Nerve Endings

The area between your legs, front and back, is some of the most nerve-rich of your body. Unless someone has had an accident or surgery or other difference that lessens nerve function, this is usually the gateway to physical sexual pleasure. When we're aroused we might like stroking, pressure, or other forms of touch. We might love anal toys with vibration. We might like oral/anal play. All this can be external only and nevertheless give lots of pleasure, and there are nerve endings along the anal canal too, as well as in the prostate. The rectum's nerves carry messages of pressure, motion, and fullness.

Anal Anatomy

The anus lies between the butt cheeks, but it is the opening to the anal canal, so there's more to it than meets the eye. This is the tight part, which must successfully relax for anal penetration to feel good. Further in is the rectum, where you find the prostate in people who have them.

Pelvic Floor Muscles

Attached like a sling to the pubic bone in front and the coccyx (tailbone) in back, the pubococcygeal muscles (aka Kegels or pelvic floor muscles) play two particular roles. First, they're partially responsible for anal tightness, and they can be too loose or too tight; Kegel exercises are one way to address this. (See a pelvic floor therapist!) Also, muscle contractions of this group are a big part of orgasmic pleasure for many people.  

Prostate Stimulation

The prostate is a gland, comparable to the G-spot, that sits underneath the bladder and wraps around the urethra. Locate it through the front rectal wall–it will be firmer than the surrounding tissue. It can be pleasurably sensitive to pressure and stroking, and for those who have one, it can be a big factor in how to have an anal orgasm—or simply in feeling pleasure with anal play. 

Anal Orgasms for People with a Prostate

When prostate stimulation including pressure, stroking, or vibration with an anal-safe vibrator increases pleasure and arousal, and the person receiving this stimulation continues to climb, it can result in orgasm (it might be called a butt plug orgasm if that type of toy was involved). The person may desire extra intensity, pressure, or stroking speed (though some won't want that and will just want to continue the stimulation that already feels good). This can culminate in a prostate-focused orgasm—like other orgasms, a peak of pleasure.

Sometimes, focusing around the booty can cause the loss of an erection, even if the person is fully enjoying the sensations and is wholly turned on. But even during a prostate orgasm, the person may ejaculate, with or without an erection! 

Anal Orgasms for People Without a Prostate

Without any other direct genital stimulation, people who don't have a prostate may be less likely to orgasm anally (though you certainly CAN add other stimulation and enjoy a strong blended orgasm). Also, external stimulation and anal canal stimulation won't be appreciably different in a person with a prostate vs. a person who does not have one.  For toy options, you can check out our guest blog highlighting some favorite anal toys for women and folks without a prostate.

Indirect G-spot Stimulation: Remember, the prostate and G-spot function similarly! Some people with a G-spot report that there are anal intercourse positions that allow a penis or toy to stimulate the G-spot even through the shared rectal/vaginal wall—the pressure and rhythmic sensations carry over. Even when the G-spot itself isn't directly in the line of sensation, there may be vaginal wall contact, which can also provide some indirect clitoral stimulation, and that can feel amazing as well!

Adding vaginal stimulation with a toy can also maximize the chances that anal play will stimulate the whole area and result in orgasm. Blended orgasms are often really great ones, because more nerve endings help you process the extra stimulation. Any anal sex tips can include encouragement to include more of your sexually sensitive body while you are learning to enjoy anal! 

Anal Orgasms through Oral Play

You don’t need penetration to achieve an anal orgasm - though for many, that extra stimulation will make anal orgasm more likely.

Can you have an orgasm from analingus?

Yes! You can have an orgasm through analingus (aka rimming), especially if other sexually sensitive parts are getting some stimulation as well, such as the penis, clitoris, and/or nipples. The rim of the anus is dense with sensitive nerve endings that love touch and stimulation as much as many other erogenous zones on our bodies.

Safer play recommends you use a dam or other barrier between mouth and anus. Adding your favorite lube to the anus side of the barrier helps the receiver get more sensation from this play. Partners can decide together what positions work and feel the best—some receivers want to bend over something so they can relax as their cheeks are spread; others curl up and hold their own legs open to allow their partner access. 

How to Prepare for Anal Play

There are two main things to consider in addition to the information about anatomy and technique we've shared: One, make sure you can (or your partner can) relax enough to enjoy penetration, if that is on the menu, and two, consider if you want or need to rinse out the rectum for cleanliness purposes. For a deeper dive on how to prep for anal play, check out this 101 blog all about anal for beginners.

Why is Anal Training Important?

Though the phrase might bring a BDSM master to mind (which might be a sexy image!), anal training simply means exploring anal comfort and capacity so you can have the kind of anal sex you want.

Anal training sets are handy tools with graduated sizes of anal plugs or anal-safe dildos to work up to a desired size (a partner's penis girth is a common goal, but that's not the only reason to do this). It's important so "your eyes aren't bigger than your anus" (we just made that up) and you don't try for a toy or other penetration type that you're not ready for, and that might hurt or even injure you. (If you are not the receiver, this is just as important for you to know about on your partner's behalf.) 

Remember, anal training isn’t instantaneous. There’s no jumping from beginner to pro in one session! Listen to your body, go slow, and take your time as you level up to new sizes, allowing your body to get used to—and enjoy!—each size as you explore. 

Lube is a MUST.

If any anal penetration is desired, you MUST have plenty of lube. The anus does not lubricate itself; friction in the anal canal and rectum can cause damage without lubricant. Thankfully, we already have a handy guide to anal lubes you can check out here. 

Douching and Anal Hygiene

The term “douching” refers to rinsing out the rectum before play so most fecal material is washed out. Use your douche or enema with clean water and situate yourself over the toilet or in the shower, let some water in, then bear down and swoosh it out. It doesn't take much if you are having regular bowel movements and good bowel health. Avoid packaged rectal douches from the drugstore that contain more than simple saline—those random chemicals can be dangerous, especially up there! 

Anal Toy Safety

In order for a toy to be anal safe, it should be made of a non-porous material (silicone, glass, metal, etc) for keeping hygienic, and should not be scratchy or sharp. This MUST have a flared base—meaning the base of the toy is larger than the insertable end to keep it anchored outside of the body.

Without a flared base or flange the toy risks slipping all the way inside—especially if you orgasm, which can pull it in. Losing a toy (or any object) in the rectum can cause serious injury, especially if it’s vibrating when it goes in–and will likely require a trip to the ER for a medical professional to safely retrieve it, so never put anything up your booty that isn’t explicitly designed to be there.

Techniques That Help You Reach an Anal Orgasm

Anal Stimulation Techniques

Start slow and external by teasing the rim or focusing on the nerve endings near the anus. Lube will offer greater sensation even before, or without, penetration. The receiving partner must relax for any insertion and control the speed and other elements. Communication is so so important here! Try vibration, external or internal; if the receiver has a prostate, an anal-safe prostate toy can help. It is often very helpful to add other erotic stimulation like clitoral play or stroking the penis to go for a blended orgasm.

Breathing and Relaxation

Relaxation is crucial for any insertion or penetrative play; painful or uncomfortable stimulation is not likely to help a receiving partner get to orgasm. Breathing helps with relaxation, plus for many people is part of moving through arousal into orgasm. This can also help us stay connected to our body, allowing us to focus on all those great sensations and chase them to our O.

Edging

Edging (or orgasm control) is a technique that encourages you to focus on your arousal and the path toward orgasm and learn to control it and draw out the time you can be stimulated before orgasm occurs. One advantage of this type of play is that it helps you learn much more about your journey to orgasm and be in better control of it. The other great element of edging is that rushing to orgasm often does not let pleasure build sufficiently so orgasms aren't as strong—edging can help build up really strong climaxes.

Do Pelvic Floor Exercises Help with Anal Orgasms?

Yes! Done correctly, they can assist with how flexible vs. tight your anus is, and the contractions of these muscles help us feel greater orgasmic pleasure. Doing Kegel contractions during sex can also add to pleasure and help some achieve orgasm.

Common Mistakes that Can Prevent Anal Pleasure 

You’ve probably heard the myth that anal sex should hurt, that discomfort just comes with the act. But that is not the case at all. Many people enjoy anal that’s not only pain-free, but comfortable and—you guessed it—orgasmic! Sex shouldn’t hurt (unless you’re referring to BDSM and you want it to… but that’s not what we’re talking about here). 

How to Prevent Anal Pain

If the receiver isn't well-relaxed or the giver is too rough, pain can result—sometimes acute. Pain is a signal you need to re-adjust something like pacing, lube, or size, or simply try again another time. As with any play, ALWAYS listen to your body and NEVER push through something if it doesn’t feel right or good. 

Most likely, you may need to reduce your pace or start with something smaller like a finger or thinner toy first (remember anal training!). Start slow and let pleasure build up. Communicate, and only speed up if the receiver asks you to go faster. 

Another common reason for discomfort with anal is that you aren’t lubricated enough. The anus doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina, so lots of lube is an absolute must to prevent pain from friction as well as micro-tears and other harm. TL;DR: when it comes to butt stuff, lube is not optional!

Foreplay for Anal

Many people have particular ideas about what foreplay is; in our world it means "Doing the things that get you turned on." (Turned on enough for penetration? Yes, that too, though penetration is always optional.) Arousal is a huge part of getting the body ready for anal play, and can help with the relaxation that’s key to this type of sex. Turning yourself on through touch or using a toy, or even having an orgasm before you jump into anal can be a great way to achieve relaxation and arousal in a way that’s not only helpful but erotic and fun!

Best Toys for Anal Orgasms

The best anal toys for orgasms are whatever is best for you! Follow your curiosity and desire: Want to try vibration? Are you brand-new at this and need to start small? Do you have a prostate and want to stimulate it? Are you looking to try back-door strap-on play? There are toys that help you explore all of this. Make sure they’re anal-safe, and don't forget the lube!

Vibrating Anal Toys

Vibration is a superior way to stimulate those all-important nerve endings, wherever they are. Anal vibrators come in many shapes and sizes, and many rabbit-style vibrators and vibrating dildos are anal-friendly as well! People with prostates might especially like toys with a rumbly vibration, but to each their own! A slim vibrator may be both pleasurable and relaxing when it enters the anal canal. 

Prostate Toys

Toys that give the best prostate stimulation are often curved to reach it, the way G-spot toys are curved. Others provide pressure against the prostate without being held, like a longer buttplug. Used by hand, a prostate toy might feel great pressed against the prostate, or be used to stroke it. Some have an extra motor on the flared base that rests against the perineum, creating a “surround sound” vibration that stimulates the prostate from the outside and in!

Strap-ons, dildos and pegging play

Most dildos have a base and are great to use for anal, if the size suits you. Smoother dildos are better for beginners, since they will ease into the body with less resistance than textured dildos. Dildos with a pronounced head or curve can be great for hitting the prostate or helping stimulate the G-spot or vaginal walls with extra pressure. 

When strapped on, these can become a toy that facilitates anal intercourse—aka pegging! Pegging is most often used as a term that references a woman strapping on a dildo to give anal sex to a man—but realistically anyone can enjoy the wonders of strap-on anal play, no matter their gender or sexuality. If you want a deeper (pun intended) look into pegging, check out our handy expert guide.

Best Positions for Anal Pleasure

Some like face-to-face play, like missionary; while some like rear entry positions, like doggy style. The main questions: Is it comfortable and allows relaxation? Can the penis / toy / dildo fit where you want it to go? 

Comfortable Anal Positions

Many receivers find they are most comfortable when they can lie back (or on their belly) to relax, rather than engaging more muscle tension up on all fours. Try a few different positions to see what seems easiest to relax into. Using a sex pillow or sex furniture can help you to lift your body or open your hips without having to engage your core so you can focus on pleasure and relaxation and easily explore new and comfy positions for anal and beyond.

There's Plenty of Pleasure Potential Through the Back Door

Butt play is deservedly popular—so much sensation and pleasure can await! Take the time to learn more about how it works and what you might like; try toys solo or go exploring with a partner you can communicate with and trust.

Don't let anyone shame you for back-door fantasies OR fun—there's nothing unusual about wanting to explore the pleasures of the anus—after all, just about everybody has one, and it’s jam-packed with orgasmic potential! Just do not forget the lube!