Mutual masturbation can be a sexy, show-off-y erotic game, perfect as a form of "foreplay" or a wonderful way to engage together if you're trying to avoid intercourse for whatever reason. It can also be super-informative in showing how partners actually stimulate themselves—we can learn a lot by watching, and even more if it's a show and tell and you explain more about your preferences. ​

There are a few options for shy folks! Our staff sexologist's book Exhibitionism for the Shy might be a perfect read. You could also lower the lights and show them by feel—have them put their hand over yours as you self-pleasure, and as they ride along, they learn more about your moves and the pressure you like. ​You could even close your eyes or do it over your clothes for starters. 

Great lighting; talking together while you do it (either explaining things, or erotic fantasy talk); dressing up; roleplay; and of course toy use can be super-sexy also. Add a vibe, anal plug or dildo to the party! 

We think so! It's sex and you're with a partner! But it's not the same as many types of body-to-body partnered sex, and so maybe you feel it should fall into a different category. But don't let that stop you from checking it out! Two reminders: It's safer sex! And it's just as important to get consent for this as when you touch another person.